Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
