dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
