you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
