I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
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We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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