Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
