i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
