Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
