How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
