You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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