The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
