I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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