so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
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