A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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