**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
