Only a mothe r could love this liver
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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