this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
