Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
