Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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