Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
