You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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