well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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