you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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