Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
