I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
