apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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