I wanna passion pit in your ass
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
