And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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