I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they're like a gay fantastic four
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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