I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
