I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
