i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
