perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
