just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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