if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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