She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
