I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
