I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
