If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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