the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
