I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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