have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
