last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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