My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
