had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
