Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
