Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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