She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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