so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
