im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
