Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
