they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
