her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
